Worst Jokes Ever
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
Your hairline looks like the Antarctica waves.
What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?
Asked when will they do up the cars!
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21!
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.