Worst Jokes Ever
What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?
Re-tarter sauce.
Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?
Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."
Knock, knock.
Your mom.
"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."
"The size doesn’t matter" - Ana from Frozen.
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
I think I found the worst joke in life. For me, it's that I have always been unwanted and alone for my whole life, and I've never even been in a relationship with anyone, and I'm 31 years old, and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy. All I get out of life is seeing everyone else with someone and knowing it will never happen for me. I think that's the worst joke I can think of... LIFE.
Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with.
I apologize with the wording to this; it's another thing I am a failure at.
Feel free to comment.
What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?
Travis Spick-le.
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.