Worst Jokes Ever

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?

Why did the blonde run outside naked?

She thought the steam was a gas leak.

Why was Mozart a child prodigy?

All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.

Where do the Borg eat fast food?

Borger King.

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)

-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!

-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.

Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

Hands down, syndromes are bad.

I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.

"Who am I?"

I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!

It took Jesus 3 days to respond.

Worst lag ever!

A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.

What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?

Throwing the baby off a cliff.