Worst Jokes Ever
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
What do you call sex with a hoover?
Clean sex.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
What do you call a person with a fat brain?
A fat neek!
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
How much do pirate earrings cost? 🤔
Answer: A buck an ear. 🤣
What do you call a fat spеaky in a wheelchair spеaky chair?
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
I wanted to fall off a cliff, sadly, there aren't any cliffs near my house.
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never score home.
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
Would you rather listen to Justin Bieber or die in the slowest and most painful way possible?
They're the same thing.