Worst Jokes Ever
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?
Floor 44.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
What do you call a child with no family?
Names.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is.
Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
I am Paul Walker.
Your forehead and your hairline must be old friends, because they go way back.