Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
Yeet.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"
Why can't you hear a dinosaur clap? They're dead.
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Your mom gay.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Justin Bieber
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.