Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.