Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?
They said, "Allahu Akbar."
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Mimi. Mimi who? Mimi’s got cancer.
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
T-Series.
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.