Worst Jokes Ever
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of dead babies.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
Bitch wanna make me a sandwich?
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
What do you call a pool full of retards?
Vegetable soup.
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
What do you get from childhood drama? A ginger with autism.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Paki curry is shit.
What’s the difference between bowling balls and babies?
You can unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
Society
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)