Worst Jokes Ever
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.