Worst Jokes Ever
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
Eggs
You crack me up!
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
My dad hits me :(
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!