Worst Jokes Ever
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Stephen Hawking lost connection to the WiFi.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.