Worst Jokes Ever
Uranus is up in the sky today.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
9/11
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
I blend children to make a good living.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
I cummed on the alley.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
Men.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.
So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"
The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."
Can you fuck me, please?
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.