Worst Jokes Ever
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
My nan's gayyyyyy.
Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.