Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
