Worst Jokes Ever
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
Donkeys are cool.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
On September 11th, 2001, the New York Giants lost against the Jets.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"
Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."
Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."
Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.