Worst Jokes Ever
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
What's the time?
How would I know?
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.