Worst Jokes Ever

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"

Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.

What kind of cake can an orphan not have?

Homemade.

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?

Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha

How did the man in prison escape?

He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.

Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

They have no mother's or father's day.

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

Because they have no home.

I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.

What looks like half a cat?

The other half.

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

Teacher: Why were you late?

Me: Traffic.

Teacher: Did I did it?

Me: Did I even blame it on you?