Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?

*Splash!*

What's the difference between a pizza & a person?

A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...

"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?

Me: My sister.

SWEET HOME ALABAMAA

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there?

Not Susie.

What do you call someone with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

GET IN THE VAN!!

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Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.

Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.

Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

Mom: No, that's impossible.

Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?

"Cheetah, cheetah!"

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Americans live in the U.S.A. The quiet kids live in the U.Z.I.