Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
Do you want to hear a joke?
You.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Why can't orphans go to movies?
There PG-13 movies.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Which is better looking, girls or women?
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"