Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a dick playing badminton?

A shuttlecock.

Never eat more than you can lift.

I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.

What do Orphans say on Father's Day?

Well, not "Happy Father's Day."

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

I love teaching students

how to make them harm themselves.

Yo' mama is a joke.

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

I hate my life.

Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

Person 2: OMg!

Ur dick.

What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL

Three gay guys walk into a bar.

There is only one stool left, what do they do?

They flip the stool over.

Titanic didn't sink by an iceberg.

Titanic sank by 100000000000000000000000 Titanics.

What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?

One gets picked.