Worst Jokes Ever
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"
Me: "Your mom gay lol."
My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."
You: "Your mom gay lol."
What is the similarity between an anti-joke and a clown? Neither are funny.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.
I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.