Worst Jokes Ever
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
That dam looks damn cool!
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
9/11, 911, same thing.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?
Bucket.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!