Worst Jokes Ever
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
What do orphans call a selfie?
A family photo.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun…
Women need to be in the kitchen.
What’s the craziest thing Kurt Cobain released?
The safety.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.