Worst Jokes Ever

What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?

One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?

A microtransaction.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?

Honey, I'm home!

Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?

Son: A ugly girl.

Dad: Why not a pretty girl?

Son: A pretty one might run away.

Dad: So an ugly one might too.

Son: Yeah, but who cares?

Did you hear about the guy who got his left side chopped off?

Well, he’s all right now!

Do you want to play Titanic?

When I say iceberg, you go down on me.

9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

What do you call an emo filming their suicide?

America's Funniest Home Videos.