Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
What's 9 + 10?
21
I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
Life's too short to want it.