I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
Worst Jokes Ever
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
What do you call a group of emos?
Limited Edition.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
How do you get a depressed man out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
What's a pedophile's favorite cooking ingredient?...... Fresh meat.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
