Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.
Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.
Little Johnny: What are you doing?
Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.
Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?
When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.