Worst Jokes Ever

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.

Wives are like grenades. Pull the ring, and the house is gone.

What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

What kind of dreams do hotels have?

Suite dreams.

Why do horses eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.

What do bees brush their hair with?

A honeycomb.

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he died.