Worst Jokes Ever
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Hahahahaha......... Autism.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What comes after 69?
Period.