Worst Jokes Ever
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
Why do leftists strive for a literate population?
So people can understand their wall of text memes.
The Towers wanted pepperoni pizza, but they got planned.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable!