Worst Jokes Ever
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"
Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday, stays three days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible?
There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
Why did the skeleton want a friend?
Because she was feeling bonely.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! XD
Sayo-nara.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Nothing, because numbers don’t have consciences.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."