Worst Jokes Ever
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw pots and pans around.
"Ching, Chang, Clang!"
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
I made a website for orphans.
It has no homepage.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.