Worst Jokes Ever
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?