Worst Jokes Ever
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.