Worst Jokes Ever
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
We spend the weekend getting the poop out!
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.