Worst Jokes Ever
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
What's the difference between China and New York City?
In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"
Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
When someone calls you gay, say:
"I'm straight, straighter than your hairline!"
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
The view is so much better without those twins covering the city.
Well, that was a blow up!