Worst Jokes Ever
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
Hi, my name is Jeff.