Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.

Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.

What do you call an overweight psychic?

A four chin teller.

We spend the weekend getting the poop out!

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...

Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.

I play Fortnite, but also I play Minecraft for 14 nights.

Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.

Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.

When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."

When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

I was gonna clean my room

before I got high.

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Here are some skeleton jokes.

You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.

If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.

I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.

I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.

I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!

I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.

I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.

Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because its uncles were all aunts!