Worst Jokes Ever
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
What is the bus?
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3