Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
One day, there are friends having fun.
Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."
And they all agree.
Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
What's a boxer's favorite drink? A punch. 🥤🥤
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"