Worst Jokes Ever
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
"Wanna hear a construction joke?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Wait, I'm still working on it!"
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!
Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?
Because he is always talking about his honey.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.