Worst Jokes Ever

A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.

I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.

What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?

Ereptile Dysfunction!

I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.

Me: "Are you ok sir?"

Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."

Me: "Well, which one are ya?"

My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.

Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.

What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.

Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.

What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.

When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."

What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?

~they're both a dick in a box.

What do you call a Mexican midget?

A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

When you see a deer, what do you say?

"Oh deer!"

What's yellow and can't float?

A school bus full of children.

For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.

What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?

"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"

I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.