Worst Jokes Ever
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.