Worst Jokes Ever
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back, she looks 15.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Today my ex got hit by a bus.
I also lost my job as a bus driver.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers