Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? One, you just need to throw it hard enough.

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.

The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.

A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.

The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”

Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”