Worst Jokes Ever
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Stranger: Not your parents.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.