Worst Jokes Ever
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.