Worst Jokes Ever

This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.

He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter; he's not coming.

What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?

What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?

De-calf!

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

A blonde walks into a bar.

Ouch.

What do you call anal rape?

Ass cream.

(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.

I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.

Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.

If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...

Why are hospitals always freezing?

They need to keep the vegetables cold.

How does the dog dance?

He doesn't... he's dead.

A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"

The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"

The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."

The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"

The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"

What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.