Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know that, statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile? Not me though, not me though; I live next door to a lil 10 year old boy with a FAT ASS yenno what I'm sayin'???
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.