Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! š
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Whatās a Cannibalās Favorite Food?
Ra-men.
Why canāt orphans play baseball? Because they canāt find the first base they came from.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, donāt lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears š
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
I have a really good construction joke, but Iāll have to post it later because Iām still working on it.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
When youāre trying to attract a partner, itās important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.