Worst Jokes Ever
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A Sax-O-Bone.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.