Worst Jokes Ever
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?
RCXD in bound
What’s the worst part of a vegetable?
A wheelchair.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
Chuck Norris makes the living room the dying room!
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.