Worst Jokes Ever
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.