Worst Jokes Ever
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
What did the cannibal say when his friend fell on the floor?
"5 second rule!"
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
What do you call a crippled terrorist?
An RC-XD.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"