Worst Jokes Ever
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Hitler.
Don't bully.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.