Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
I heard oxygen and magnesium were dating, and I was like, "OMg!"
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
F*ck you.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
Your nan.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”