Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Potatoes
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Yes, houses can't jump at all.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he comes once a year.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!