A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
The Sad Life
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Explanation
Experiment
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, buttercup. So, like, a penis is being compared to a person with a really crummy life. His hair is a mess means pubes all over the place (get it?), his family is nuts (testicles), his neighbor is an asshole (duh), his best friend is a pussy (lol), and his owner beats him up (self-explanatory). Basically, life sucks for this dude's downstairs mix-up.