Worst Jokes Ever
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”