Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Hitler.
Don't bully.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.