Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Don't use Head and Shoulders, just use Head; otherwise, you'll end up in the retarded situation Stephen Hawking went through.
Why is James depressed?........ because he's a bitch.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”