Worst Jokes Ever
He never has a bad day because he wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
Lick my BALLS!
Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. π€£π€£π€£π€£
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
Look - it's the lake of whiz!!!
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
My pp.
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! π¦
Frank.
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL