Worst Jokes Ever
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?
Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.
This shit is disgusting but funny.
How do you make a juggler laugh? You tickle his balls.
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was on a roll.
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
They found out that Michael Jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hee-hee.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his butt.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?