Worst Jokes Ever
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
When the school lets you near children again...
What's the best cure for aging? Suicide.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can’t find home.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
Me nan.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!