Worst Jokes Ever
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
What do you call a hillbilly girl who's faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.
Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?
I don't have the Ferrari.
The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.