Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.