Worst Jokes Ever
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."
Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.