Worst Jokes Ever
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.