Worst Jokes Ever
Uranus is huge.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"