Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

Frisk: One knife, plz.

Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

Waiter: You eat a knife?

Frisk: Yes.

*Waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: Here you go.

Frisk: Thanks you.

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?

Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!

Why can orphans travel around so much?

A. They never get homesick.

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.