Worst Jokes Ever
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
One time I ate a chair.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
This whole page is pure trash. Fuck all of you.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer?
Cell-ablate!
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"