Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What pronouns would Michael Jackson have used as a Gender Identifier?
“He/he.”
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.
With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.
Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.
Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.
A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.
With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.
Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.
But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.
And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.
How do you disrespect an Asian?
Give them driving lessons.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.