Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their greatest hits are "the wall."
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Cunt.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.