Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
The Middle Ages were called the dark ages because there were too many knights.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Having sex while camping is fucking in-tents.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.