Worst Jokes Ever
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.