Worst Jokes Ever
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."