Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? Six hours.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?
He wanted to clean out the blanket.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.